Top 10 Funniest Jokes Of October

October may be the month of falling leaves, cozy sweaters, and too many pumpkin-spiced everything, but it’s also the perfect time to fall into laughter.

We’ve gathered the Top 10 Jokes of October that are guaranteed to keep your spirits high, your grin wide, and your friends questioning your sense of humor (in the best way possible).

So grab your mug of something warm, settle in, and get ready to laugh harder than your neighbor trying to rake wet leaves.

1- Definitely

A kindergarten teacher is trying to explain the meaning of the word "definitely" to her class. She asks the kids to use it in a sentence to make sure they really get it.

The first student raises his hand and says, "The sky is definitely blue."

The teacher responds, "Well, that's not completely right, because sometimes it's grey and cloudy."

Then another student chimes in, "Grass is definitely green."

The teacher replies again, "If grass doesn't get enough water, it turns brown, so that's not really accurate either."

Finally, Billy raises his hand and asks the teacher, "Do farts have lumps?"

The teacher looks at him and says, "No... But that's not really a question you should ask during class discussion."

So Billy responds, "Then I definitely just shit my pants."

2- Naming The Daughters

A woman is heading home with her three daughters.

The oldest daughter looks at her and asks, "Mommy, how did I get my name?"

"Well, honey, when we were bringing you home from the hospital, a rose petal fell on your head! That's how you got the name Rose."

The second daughter, feeling curious, poses the same question.

"Well, sweetheart, when we were bringing you home from the hospital, a lily petal landed on your head! That's why we named you Lily."

The youngest girl chimes in, "HHGHGNGHGHNG?!?!?! DDDNBHGHBHNGHHH!!!"

"Shhh, quiet down now, Cinderblock.”

3- Adam & Eve

A Russian, a Frenchman, and an Englishman are in an art museum admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the gardens of Eden.

The Englishman takes a look at the painting and says, "They look so calm, they must be British!"

The Frenchman responds, "No, no! They're naked, so beautiful, they must be French!"

The Russian says, "They have no food, no shelter, nothing but an apple to eat, and they are being told this is paradise? ...They're clearly Russian!”

4- Disabled Porn

A guy on holiday with his family gets to a hotel.

While he's checking in, he tells the clerk, "I'm on vacation with my family, please make sure you have disabled porn.”

The clerk responds with disgust, "It's just regular porn, you sick fuck.”

5- Mexican In A Departmental Store

A Mexican man who didn't know any English walked into a department store to buy some socks.

He made his way to the menswear section, where a young woman offered her assistance.

"Quiero calcetines," the man said.

"I don't speak Spanish, but we have some really nice suits over here," the salesgirl replied.

"No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines," the man insisted.

"Well, these shirts are on sale this week," the salesgirl announced.

"No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines," the man reiterated.

"I still don't understand what you're trying to say. We have some great pants on this rack," the salesgirl said.

"No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero calcetines," the man insisted again.

"These sweaters are top quality," the salesgirl suggested.

"No, no quiero sueter. Quiero calcetines," the man replied.

"Our undershirts are over here," the salesgirl said, starting to lose her patience.

"No, no quiero camisetas. Quiero calcetines," the man repeated once more.

As they walked past the underwear section, the man noticed a display of socks and eagerly grabbed a pair. Holding them up, he exclaimed, "Eso sí que es!".

"Well, if you could spell it, why didn't you do that from the start?"

6- A Word

A woman is at her late husband's funeral. A man leans over and asks her, "Is it okay if I say a word?".

"Sure, go for it," the woman responds.

The man gets up, clears his throat, says "Plethora," and then sits back down.

"Thanks," the woman replies, "that means a lot."

7- Mad Cow Disease

So, these two cows are chatting in a field.

The first cow goes, "Hey dude, are you worried about that mad cow disease that's spreading around?"

The second cow replies, "I'm really glad it doesn't affect us helicopters.”

8- Priest's Parrots

A woman goes to her priest and says, "Father, I have a bit of a dilemma. I own two female talking parrots, but they only know one phrase."

"What do they say?" the priest asked.

"They just keep saying, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?'"

"That's awful!" the priest replied, "but I think I can help. Bring your two female parrots to my place, and I'll introduce them to my two male talking parrots, who I’ve taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will help yours learn to stop saying that awful line, and they’ll start to praise and worship instead."

"Thank you so much!" the woman said.

The following day, she takes her female parrots to the priest's home. His two male parrots are in their cage, holding rosary beads and praying. The woman places her female parrots in with the males, and they immediately say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?"

One male parrot turns to the other and shouts, "Put the beads down. Our prayers have been answered!"

9- Balls Of The Bull

A guy took a trip to Spain for his vacation. He popped into a restaurant and spotted a unique dish.

Curious, he asked the waiter about it, who replied, "Son los cojones del toro, the balls of the bull, sir. We serve it once a day after the bullfights."

The guy decided to order it for the next day and left.

When he returned the next day to get his dish, he stared at it for a moment and realized something was off. He called the waiter over and said, "Hey, why are these so much smaller than the ones from yesterday?"

The waiter hesitated, glanced around, and answered, "I’m really sorry, sir, but sometimes the bull does win."

10- DEA Officer & The Rancher

A DEA officer pulled up to a ranch and told the rancher, "I need to check your ranch for any illegally grown drugs."

The rancher replied, "Sure, but please don't go into that field over there," while pointing to the spot.

The DEA officer lost his cool, shouting, "Sir, I have the authority of the Federal Government behind me!" He reached into his back pocket, pulled out his badge, and proudly showed it to the rancher. "See this badge?! It means I can go anywhere I want... On any property! No questions asked! Do you get it?!"

The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went back to his work. A little while later, the old rancher heard some screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, chased by the rancher's huge bull... With every stride, the bull was closing in on the officer, and it looked like he was about to get gored before he could find safety. The officer was obviously scared out of his mind.

The rancher dropped his tools, dashed to the fence, and yelled at the top of his lungs... "Your badge, show him your BADGE!!"

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